skin issues

i wish i had clear skin.

there were times when i'd sit in front of the telly and just watch allt hose inside it flaunt their obviously flawless white skin. you can scratch out the white part because i've never dreamed of turning into a different shade of color, but the flawless part...

i just wish i had a face that was flawless too.

so that drove me into the conclusion that maybe it was high time to see a dermatologist. well, the plan was initially to get a facial, but because i was underage (i'm 17 if you must know. just a year short of becoming a full-fledged adult), i had to undergo a consultation check-up with a dermatologist. maybe it was because to be on the safe side, but i couldn't care less about it.

after 15 minutes, i was carted off to the washroom with a bottle of facial wash. i forgot what they called it, but it was the first step if i wanted to get things done.

maybe it was a bit impulsive of me. or maybe i had a screw loose, but i actually agreed to have this thing called 'acne surgery'. from the term itself, i was actually freaked out already, but i had one goal in mind: to be pretty. it was one thing that kept me going until the moment i was told to lie down on the bed with a lamp light just in front of my face.

the aim of the whole thing was to simply remove the blackheads that littered my face. i didn't try glimpsing at the torture instrument being used on me for fear that i'd feel the pain more if i knew what was digging in to my skin :|

the forehead was fine. the cheeks were okay. but when it came to the nose and the surrounding area, i was crying from the pain, and the doctor laughed. maybe she's seen a lot of my kind, and that sort of thing amused her. couldn't blame her :| if i were her, i'd laugh too :))

post-surgery: hello red blots on my face :| i hope you go away in due time.

and the bill. OH LORD the bill. i've told my mom countless of times that 'vanity has its price' and it was really no joke. the whole thing, with the additional toner and day and night cream i have yet to understand why i have to put, cost around little less than 2k.

i thought my heart wouldn't take it.

i don't see how it's all worth it now, but i hope real soon i see the difference. i still want to look pretty, and even if it takes ma a long time, it's okay :) as long as i get there, then i'll be fine.

--shing