and what's more, i can't put things in their right place. i want to do this, i want to do that, i HAVE to do this, i HAVE to do that. do you understand? no i don't either... and that's the friggin problem here O_O. it's like i'm saying i don't HAVE any priorities right now, when i'm SUPPOSED to have them.
i want to get things straight and move on. there are so many things that i feel is dragging me down, and i want to break away from those. the question i ask myself constantly is HOW i should go about it, but somehow i can't seem to answer it.
definitely, i'm scared for myself. i'm scared that i can't make it. earlier this morning, i felt like crying hard when it was time to announce the Filipino diagnostic tests results. a huge part of me was saying i'd fail it and i wasn't ready to accept it.
and that was JUST a diagnostic test. what if it was something way bigger?
i don't know anymore. i can't believe that lack of competency i'm in right now. i no longer BELIEVE. heck, i can't even DREAM.
so frustrating >_>