have you...

ever doubted?

have you ever doubted about yourself, your identity, your mission, your aim, your goals, your abilities, your skills?

have you ever wondered if you'll ever cross that finish line?

have you ever wondered why you can't make yourself any better than the way you are now? better yet, have you ever wondered why you can't change at all?

have you ever doubted if everything in your life is at the right place and at the right time? have you ever wondered why things in your life have bee so much fucked up that you can't move anymore?

have you ever felt confused and helpless at the same time? have you ever been betrayed?

have you ever though that you've been cheated out of love and loyalty?

have you ever though that there was nothing to be happy about the next day?

have you ever thought of just asking God to let you die in your sleep, and then take it back the moment you think of it because your family still needs you?

have you ever been so messed up?

have you ever lost almost a half of what you think is rightfully yours?

have you ever thought the memories you hold contain false pretext?

actually, have you ever thought that the stuff and the people you now hold don't belong to you at all?

have you ever thought that the things you set free out of love aren't coming back because they don't, didn't and have not ever belonged to you in the first place?

have you cried your eyes out, stopped the tears from coming, and then start the cycle all over?

have you ever thought that the days that were supposed to be made out of smiles and laughter are going to be just a big pain in the heart?

have you ever thought that there was no point in living a life in one huge big lie?

have you ever wondered why you couldn't say the words which you were supposed to say, ask the questions you were supposed to ask, and do the things that you are supposed to do but then you've never gone through them all?

well, have you?

because i have.

and it's driving me insane.

--shing